danbrett's blog

COW MILKING SYSTEMS

Sun, 2006-01-08 12:50 — danbrett

I am sure this one is doing the rounds, but it arrived in my email today and I thought it was funny.

DUBAI SYSTEM:

You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resale the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.

QATAR SYSTEM:

You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing, you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows’ boobs in the shortest Time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

EVO MORALES: WHITE MAN, YOU ONLY HAVE YOURSELVES TO BLAME

Sat, 2006-01-07 07:33 — danbrett

This month, cocaleros (coca farmers) champion Evo Morales was victorious in Bolivia's presidential elections, with 51% of the vote. His triumph at the polls is a direct challenge to the US's anti-narcotics campaign in the region, with Morales defending the production of the coca leaf - which, when refined, produces cocaine.

Cocaine: the white man's invention

The coca leaf is traditionally chewed by the indigenous people of Bolivia to alleviate altitude sickness, a practice that predated the European conquest. The leaf is a stimulant and hunger-suppressant. The Spaniards initially banned the "Satanic" leaf, but when they discovered its qualities, they legalised it and taxed it to support missionary work.

TATA INDICOM: BROADBAND THIEVES

Sat, 2006-01-07 07:22 — danbrett

I have had the worst consumer experience of my life with Tata Indicom. Their broadband service is atrocious. This week I had 50 hours downtime. I befriended some of the company's local engineers, who I think are highly skilled and hard-working. They told me that Tata's head office in Hyderabad is refusing to give them permission to install a new server and replace the faulty one. They also told me that Hyderabad did not know what it was doing and admitted that head office just gives meaningless excuses.

Initially, I thought it was an anti-Kolkata thing, that Tata Indicom was deliberately concentrating all its resources in the "IT hubs" of Bangalore and Hyderabad. But 50 hours downtime is just absurd. How can anyone run a business with such atrocious service.

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