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COW MILKING SYSTEMS

Sun, 2006-01-08 12:50 — danbrett

I am sure this one is doing the rounds, but it arrived in my email today and I thought it was funny.

DUBAI SYSTEM:

You have two cows. You create a website for them and advertise them in all magazines. You create a Cow City or Milk Town for them. You sell off their milk before the cows have even been milked to both legit and shady investors who hope to resale the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two years time. You bring Tiger Woods to milk the cow first to attract attention.

QATAR SYSTEM:

You have two cows. They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk. You see what Dubai is doing, you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows’ boobs in the shortest Time possible. Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.

SAUDI SYSTEM:

Since milking the cow involves nipples the gov't decides to ban all cows in public. The only method to milk a cow is to have a cow in on one side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other or to hire females and train them to milk the cows ... the debate is still going on.

BAHRAIN SYSTEM:

You have two cows. Some high gov't official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit. The gov't tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people. The people riot and scream death to the govt and carry Iranian flags. The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decides to employ ten Bahrainis to all milk the cow at the same time so as to cut back on unemployment.

LEBANON SYSTEM:

You have two cows. One is owned by Syria and the other is controlled by the gov't.

EGYPT SYSTEM:

You have two cows. Both are voting for Mobarak!

SOCIALISM:

You have two cows and you give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM:

You have two cows; the Government takes both and gives you some milk.

NAZISM:

You have two cows. The Government takes both and shoots you.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A BRITISH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. Both are mad.

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